I want to talk with all of you about living life with pain and the guilt we feel. As a person with pain, I long for a pain free day but I settle for days when it is not as bad as others and I try to appreciate that. It seems recently at night my pain levels have been very high. When I try and sleep they keep me up all night. Obviously this is not new to me and as a person with pain, I have gotten use to it and have adjusted my life to my new normal. We all have family, friends, and significant others who will never understand fully what this is like to live with pain and they will certainly never understand the guilt that comes along with it. Sadly the guilty feeling is one of those side effects we have to deal with on so many levels, especially when we wake them up in the middle of the night because of a pain attack or when we can not do as much as we want to during the day, or anything else that makes us feel limited. What our friends, family and significant others do not realize is that they make these guilty feelings worse by comments they make, things the do, looks they give us and ways they act. I don't think they realize this compounds our guilty feelings, which makes us stressed and adds to our pain. As much as we try and live our new normal we still want certain things in our lives to be the same from our caregivers, like understanding, tolerance, patient, love and caring.
I hope all of you know you do not have to feel guilty for living a life with pain, Pain is not your fault and neither are the side effects. You never asked for this and certainly do not want this. I can only hope our friends, family and significant others can understand who we are and accept us as we are. I can only hope they realize that we do not intend to wake them up at night, we do not want to be a burden and we certainly do not needed added guilt. Please pass this on to friends and family, sometimes it helps when they hear it from someone else then you.
Do not feel guilty, be proud of the things you can do. I know you can provide love, and inspiration I know you can provide friendship, and kindness. Don't forget just because your body is different your spirit is the same. When the guilty feelings come along, remember you are not alone and that it is part of this pain journey. We are always here for you and will be. We appreciate everything you do, how much you try and how strong you are.
Is that really like me? Do I really don't have to feel guilty for who I am? I did and I still do....what a stupidity :-(
I'm so so frigging (sorry but I HAD to use the word) THANKFUL for my beloved husband Kemal , my daughters and all of my friends WHO really understand me.
That's what family and friendship means! Love, respect and understanding.
Love you all!
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